Missing My Mom

My Mom LOVED music. She danced on the Dick Clark Show. She let me dance on her feet when I was little. Music has been something we have always shared, from the time I could comprehend music. I too have always loved music and dance. I got it from her, I'm certain. Music has been the one thing in my life that has always helped me get through the hard times when I couldn't deal with things in my normal daily life. I have music playing right now. Music opens my heart, my mind, and my spirit whenever I feel closed in, trapped, or just when I need to dance my heart out to get whatever is hurting OUT. Music helps me cry, because I try to be way too strong, but when I can finally get alone and just listen to music... the tears just fall freely, with no shame.

I also dance when I'm happy. Which most people see more than the other, because I truly am more happy than sad today. That is a true blessing.

I miss the Mom I had from the day I was born until age 8 and then from 11 to 13. Something went wrong when we moved from California to Kansas. I got her back for awhile, but it was never the same, then we moved to North Carolina. I got her for a little while there, then something else happened that took her from me and she went back to Kansas without me. I never got her back after that. I don't really know if it was me or her, but it was never that "dancing on her feet" that I needed  ever again. She didn't go to my college graduation. The excuse was that she was ill...she wasn't that ill then. That always hurt me, because getting through college on my own was so hard. My Dad was at my graduation with me.....

I am grateful for EVERYTHING my mother (and Dad of course) have ever given me or done for me over the years. I would not have made it without them. They always made sure I had plenty of access to music!! Thank you Dad!